Thursday, September 28, 2006

Not much interesting has happened since the whole preggers ordeal…which by the way is still going on. Some folks just won't leave me alone. A co worker sees a VHS tape on my desk and asks if that is the ultrasound. My boss writes 'Amanda preggers' on my white board.
I did realize on Monday that when crazy stuff happens to me, Robin is usually around. Take a phone call for instance on lunch break. I saw that I had two missed calls from different numbers back to back. I thought for a second that it might be one of those exs that you delete their number and then you remember that is retarded because what if one of them call and you accidentally answer? Anywho. This person left a message for me. I check my voicemail and it's Chris something from the freaking Arkansas FBI. He gives me the main office number and his desk number and tells me that "it's nothing serious".
Right. Now, I'm a law abiding citizen (minus the occassional speeding) and I immediately think that I have done something wrong. My head is spinning and in all of Robin's giddyness, she suggests that I call him back RIGHT NOW. I call the main number and an older woman answers the phone all prim and proper. I ask for Chris whomever and he answers.
Me: um, this is amanda bradley, you just left me a message.
C: oh yes, ms bradley. You must have been out of town when I called.
What? No, I'm just a normal cellular phone user who doesn't answer unknown numbers.
Me: um, actually I was at work. What can I help you with?
C: was ther ea man by the name of Shainhiemdk Blahblah that lived at your address?
Me: (trying to be all sweet and innocent and non guilty sounding even though I have no idea if he just sneezed or actually said a person's name). I'm not for sure. I do not see any mail for him in my mailbox. I've lived in this apartment for 6 months or so.
C: Well, yes ma'am, he gave your address as his own.
Lightbulb off in head
Me: OHHHHHHH!!! You mean has he lived with me??
C: Yes ma'am
Me: Oh, in that case, no.
C: that is what we figured, just wanted to check. Thanks for your time.
I go on about my day and hear no more from my friend Chris. My sister calls me that evening and I tell her the story. About 4.3 minutes after we hang up, my phone is ringing and it's my mother all freaked out that the FBI has called me. I tell her that it was nothing to worry about and she swears that it's identity theft or that the big scary boogieman is going to come get me.
Now, I know that I'm not a mom and have no right to poke fun at her reaction because I'm a little crazy and I know that I would probably be doing the same thing if I had a daughter getting weird FBI phone calls…and I love my mom. She's a great protector and can smell a scam a mile away. Anywho. Long story short, she wants the number to investigate, she finds out it's legit and thanks me for satisifying my 'paranoid mother'.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

I was in Atlanta, GA on a business trip and boy do I have stories to tell. I will let all of them alone for now but the most recent....
Wednesday night after class, we decided to go to this place called Tu Tu Tango. It was a suggestion from one of my programmers and he's a pretty cool guy so we figured this place would be cool too. We roll up (after the 1 hour and half drive through traffic) and got a spot in front. It was a neat little cafe like place with art on the wall and waiters with really big hair. They serve only appetizers and the food I might add was damn good.
After we had been there an hour or so the entertainment started. Men in weird attire were singing hits of the 80's while dancing around in being all crazy like. Then I notice that a lady with rather large hair has settled herself in a chair next to a black bench and is shuffling some cards. A sign is posted that she is a Tarro card reader. Now, I totally do not believe in this stuff but it's funny to see if these folks are all Ms. Cleo or not so I take a seat. She smiles and says hi and preceeds to pat my leg telling me that she sees a baby all around me.

What the????????

I begin to swat the air like a swarm of bees has just entered the cafe. I politely say,'um, sorry?'. She preceeds to tell me that she immediately senses that I am pregnant and asks me if I'm trying. I explain to her very sternly that I am certainly not trying and that I am not preggers. She tells me that she senses that I will be in the next 2 to 3 months and if this is unwanted I need to try another form of birth control.

We all had a good laugh but I got a little nervous. Me and my new friend Jaimie took a detour to Kroger and I got a test. It was positive.

Just kidding. It was positively crazy that I would let that scare me into borrowing Robin's debit card for $9.36 on a test.

Being back at work, I have gotten congrats from my boss and quite a few folks. Funny.

Friday, September 15, 2006

I'm sitting here at the San Fransico Bread Company enjoying a chicken something or other panini and praying to the god of good hygiene that every bit of the green parsley thingies have gone down my throat and not adheard to every crevice of my teeth. I quite enjoy this place and the food even though this is not a good place for a first date due to the parsley bits. Jonathan and I were headed to El Porton but he asked what this was, saw the free Wi-Fi and me shouting, 'that place is yum' brought us here. I have to say I'm a little nervous eating and drinking this closely to a 15 inch flat screen and keyboard that is most definitly not mine. It also makes me hope that the person before me also prayed to the god of good hygiene and followed the whole rule of wash yo hands!
My first time here I was with the girls from work. Only one of the girls had been here before and she went on and on about their paninis. We are pulling into the parking lot and i see these weird letters on the window 'FREE WI-FI'. What the frick is this? I think and better yet; I say it aloud. Now, normally I am a visual learner but with weird words, I need some pronunciation. I'm immediately snickered at (mainly due to the fact that 2 of the 3 girls I'm with share the job of 'Web Administrator' at our company). When I am asked if I've ever heard of Wi-Fi, I laugh aloud and want to crawl into a hole. Oh well. Just like shit happens, so does stupidity.
I've had a bit of bad luck lately with my eyeballs. I say that lightly but it really is serious. About 2 months ago, I developed this blob on my eye that was quite uncomfortable. I made a trip to the eye dr, got some $40 drops and was sent on my way. This spot got a little better but it was still irrated a bit and I was convinced by several people to journey again to the eye dr. I made an appointment and went yesterday. He put these hella stingy eye drops in my eye and checked the pressure. He was concerned seeing is how my funk eye was at a 30 and normal pressure is 16 or 17. I'm pumping out what folks that have glaucoma have. He also checks my tear production by placing these little strips in my eye and having me sit there for 5 minutes. Again, normal production is 15, I was a 3. I'm quite the underacheiver. So what does this all mean? He gives me drops for the pressure and some high tech moisture drops, demands that I wear my glasses for the next 2 weeks and tells me that he and I are going to be BFF a while because I will be coming to see him 3 or 4 times in that span. Thank God for insurance. And I would like to point out that I ate all of my sandwich, chips and pickle and I totally want a piece of cake. : )

Monday, September 11, 2006

When I was younger, I made a list of all the things I wanted to do before I died or just when I got older. I found my list the other night. I think I was 16 when I wrote it. This is how it went and what I've done about it. And these are in no particular order.
1. Have blonde hair
2. Have black hair
3. Have long nails that are my own
4. Go to Italy, Paris
5. Talk to Amy again
6. Have sex
7. Go to Alaska
8. Go to Hawaii
9. To date a tattooed, pierced boy
10. To pierce my tounge
11. To have a tattoo
12. To move away to a place where I don't know anyone
13. To be a makeup artist
14. To fall in love
15. To bungee jump
16. To have a kid
17. Learn to play the piano
18. Learn to play the guitar
19. To sing on stage in front of a crowd…and church doesn't count
20. To have pretty teeth
21. To be thinner
22. To dance in the rain naked
23. To attend a professional game from every major sport
24. To graduate college and be something I love
25. To ride on an airplane at least once a year when I'm older
26. To kiss Shelby Deatheridge again
27. To go to prom in a limo
28. To live by myself
29. To live in an apartment with Lesly
30. To run a marathon
31. To learn how to surf
32. To have something published
33. To have art hanging in a gallery
34. To live in a house with stairs
35. To buy a new car for my parents

And the moment of truth..........

1. Check……..it was a nice season
2 . Check…….it was a scary season
3. Check……..no longer b/c Walgreens makes some pretty ones
4. Non Check..but it will happen!
5. Non Check..and I'm okay with that
6. Check……..but 1 is better than 7.
7. Check……..Sophomore year of college
8. Check……..Not once but TWICE and can stay for free! Thanks Stries!
9. Check……..not as exciting as I'd hoped
10. Check……..didn't hurt to get it done, but killer for the next week. No longer have it
11. Check……..4 to be exact
12. Check……..kinda, moved to Colorado and only knew 3 peeps
13. Check……..freelance for Chanel and for Elizabeth Arden
14. Check……..thanks Jonathan : )
15. Non Check..and this one really surprises me!
16. Non Check..one day soon though
17. Non Check..took lessons at age 10 but never again
18. Non Check..regret this one.
19. Non Check..regret this one too!
20. Check………and 4 grand later
21. Check………kinda, could be a lot more!
22. Non Check…rain yes, nudity, no
23. Check……….living in Colorado really paid off!!
24. Check……….even though I don't use my degree, I heart my job!
25. Check……….I have done this ever since I was a sophomore in college
26. Non Check….and kinda sad about this one in that puppy dog kinda crush way
27. Non Check….and that was cool. We rocked the black Lexus!
28. Check……….and it was well needed
29. Non Check….although she did stay a month when I lived in Colorado…does that count?
30. Non Check….but this is on the list
31. Non Check….how sad?? And I've been to Hawaii twice!!!
32. Check……….numerous journalism classes and even a children's book!
33. Non Check….I did illustrate a children's book once though
34. Check……….the good ole condo in Colorado!
35. Non Check….I just got MY first car payment 3 years ago!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

I was in a weird mood yesterday. First of all, my head was pounding and it was all my fault. For three weeks now I've been strictly following my low carb diet. I cheat once a week and that is usually enough to make me good till next week. This weekend, I was not so good. It started w/ a cookout at Jonathan's brother and sister in law's house. We were having burgers and hot dogs and fries (which I do not have a problem resisting) and cheesedip (a little devil of temptation, but totally can be done.) Jonathan and I are responsible for bringing chips and beverages. We roll to the gas station and he picks out Doritos. I have an issue with Doritos because we were not allowed to have chips as kids and if we were, it was the cheap ones like Kroger potato chips or some pretzels so Doritos at a friends house was like finding a roll of quarters. Anywho. We get to their house which p.s. is freaking huge and fun and full of kids. One of the cute munchkins wants a Dorito. I open the bag and place one in his chubby hand. Then I lick my fingers. Yum. That was good. Maybe I can have one…or 5 or 25. And you know the rest. (seriously, I really only did have 4 or 5). Me and my soon to be sister in law go into the kitchen and begin preparing the food. She lays out the fries, seasons the meat, and cuts up cheese for cheesedip. The cheese she places in a bowl, along with the Rotel. She then pulls a box out of the cabinet and begins dumping the contents on in the bowl of processed cheese and Rotel. It's brown and weird and looks a little like Dominos' Brown Sugar. I try to act all cool like everyone and their grandmother does this. Apparently I was not good at hiding my concern. She rolls her eyes and says, 'I know you think I'm crazy putting brown sugar in cheesedip, but let me tell you, it's excellent'. I say that I have no judgements and that she should proceed. In my head I'm thinking sugar: good, cheesedip: good.... so how could this go wrong?
After the 3 minute ding on the microwave, I pick up the spoon and begin to stir. It smells like heaven. I can't wait to taste it but the Nice n Cheesy is still not completely melted and fat kid wants the full effect of the one and only bite. After a few more minutes in the microwave, the process is complete. I pick up the Tostido Scoop and insert it into the bowl. I take the bite. I try to hold my excitement. This is seriously the best cheesedip I have EVER tasted. It is like a party in my mouth and I'm the only one invited. I take another chip, and another, and then I have to go outside. I think of an excuse to come in and snag another bite. Oh my gosh this must be what it's like to be a crack addict. I can't stop. It's the bestest thing ever. Jonathan is coming inside, and my excitement cannot be contained. I tell him to try it. He loves it. The next day, I make it for my mom and sister. They love it. It's crack I say, CRACK! Then, today as I write this, I realize how crazy I am to rant and rave about cheesedip when douche bags like Bush are running our country and I am relatively intelligent and should just write about something more brilliant. Sometimes cheesedip is just more fun.