I'm on day 3 of the diet. I hate diets. I wish that I was one of those girls who could eat what they wanted and never work out and never gain weight. I knew a girl like this in college. Her name was Haley and why you wanted to hate her for the fact of her ding dong and mac and cheese eatings, she had the best heart in the world. I remember asking her if she ever worked out to keep her perfect bod. She replies very sarcastically, 'the only exercise I ever get is going up and down stairs to class'.
I'm not an unhealthy eater by any means and nor do I think I would be if I could. I wouldn't be that kid always at Baskin Robbins or the one scrapping quarters up for 3 double cheeseburgers. I would just like to not have to think about everything I put in my mouth and whether or not it is going straight to my hips. I was even the loser at a fun party tasting the 'fun' lotions and asking how many carbs each contained.
Since January, I have lost about 45 lbs. Good for me. I have to keep reminding myself that. It's funny what love and happiness does to you though. I'm the type of person to not eat and just cry away the calories if I'm sad but to not give a rats ass about the 3000 calorie meal consumption if I'm happy. Since I tend to be happy more of the time than sad, it's all down hill.
So last week when I put on a pair of pants that 2 months ago hung loosely but now fit ever so snug, I decided that happy or not, I can't be putting on weight. Jonathan was gripping about his belly (which I happen to love) and we decided that Monday would be the day we would start our diet. Sunday night we went to IHOP and ordered 2 country breakfasts and chowed down. I then realized that Monday was b-day dinner night for my niece Lily and that diet day would have to be on Tuesday. It is now Thursday, and I have not cheated one time. You may not think that this is a big deal seeing is how it's only been 3 days but let me assure you that every time I exit my office, I'm faced with temptation. I never know if it's going to be cookies or donuts or bite Snickers, but it's there, every day looking at me, saying 'eat me' like the damn cookie monster or something and not to mention the left over wedding cake that melted in your mouth with the strawberry icing or the fact that there are posters up everywhere for the icecream social at work and my programmer Chris walking into my office with a big bowl of goodness topped with whipped cream and me yelling, "get out of my cube!!!" at the top of my lungs. Anywho. I'm not the bitter fat kid I swear.
So I'm feeling down and depressed because my pants do not allow me to breath and I'm frustrated picking out clothes. I decide on an outfit and I'm rushing around trying to get ready. Jonathan is still asleep and I go to wake him up and with his sleepy eyes he looks at me and says, 'Wow'. I ask what in the world he is talking about and he replies with, 'You're absolutely beautiful". It's at this moment I realize that I'm being an idiot and I should just have a brownie…and some chips…and….